BACTION REVIEW: RAGE

Rage
1996 / 94min

"He can run, and he can hide, but he can’t escape....
what they put inside him!"
- Rage Movie Trailer

The Plot:
Alex Gainer is an Australian living the perfect American dream. He’s a muscular and sexy second grade teacher with a beautiful wife and daughter. Most importantly Alex is happy with his life and has “faith in humanity”. That all changes abruptly and unexpectedly when Alex is carjacked by a Mexican running from the cop. When the cops surrounded the car and Alex convinces the criminal to give up, they both exit the car only to be beaten, kidnapped and taken to a secret government facility. Alex wakes up in a lab overhearing “he’s innocent but he’s a perfect specimen.” He’s injected with something but Alex isn’t going down that easy. He single handedly beats down a dozen scientists (easy) then a dozen guards (they have guns) before disappearing. Next day Alex is sick mess who’s been picked up by the most idiotic truck driver ever. The law enforcement have a road block ahead so Alex takes control of the big rig and proceeds to plow through the cops. The next 10-minute action scene is possibly the coolest you will ever see. Throw sense out the window, shit is going to explode and often. After crazy highway escapades, Alex is all over the news as a vicious murderous madman on the loose. We are then introduced to the ugliest, most unrealistic news channel crew ever. In a matter of minutes—with no evidence—a reporter named Harry strings together Alex is innocent and the government is responsible by injecting Alex with drugs that make him a super soldier (yeah, he really reached there….) The rest of the film is spent having Alex kick cops asses in various setting, like tall buildings, helicopters, malls, merry-go-rounds all while having Harry deliver his story to the world. Thank God there is an antidote to what-the-fuck he was injected with so we can have a fairly happy ending.

The Lowdown:
Rage is utterly ridiculous. Every character is not remotely believable in his or her field and other than Alex, the acting is through the roof. This is another PM Entertainment film which means the action is top notch. Director Joseph Merhi loves to blow shit up and break glass—which is great. The film blows its load in the first half hour with the highway scene. I don’t know if any B-movie can EVER top multiple car crashes and flippings, following by two separate instances of tanker trucks exploding. So the rest of the movie, in essence, drags, unless you follow the plot, which will leave you giggling. Its nice to see a multiple cop killer be a hero surrounded by 2nd graders cheering him on at the end. This is what you want in a baction film: terrible dialogue (and sense) offset by kick ass explosions.

Things To Watch For:
0:07 – “I’m preparing your favorite dish.” “But you are my favorite dish.”
0:10 – Random Acts of Violence against a teacher!
0:15 – Explosion Alert!
0:15 – Gratuitous TAZER TO THE NUTS! Sucks to be a teacher today.
0:17 – From pussy-ass to action star – (checks watch) - 10 minutes.
0:21 – Sweet. Tanker as Battering Ram!!! x4
0:22 – Explosion Alert!
0:24 – Explosion Alert! I’m seeing double.
0:27 – HOLY FUCK! Tanker Explosion Alert!!!!
0:29 – Evil cop is going to stop the semi with a school bus??
0:30 – DOUBLE HOLY FUCK! Tanker Explosion Alert #2!!!!
0:34 – Random Acts of Bondage.
0:42 – Spare uniform hanging in cop car. Can you say convienient?
0:54 – 100 shots later and you still didn’t come close copper.
1:19 – Well shucks, he’s going to die.... Let’s get a pretzel.
1:20 – Warning: A lot of glass will shatter in next 5 minutes!!
1:21 - Product Placement: Zero Tolerence Poster. Nice one guys.
1:23 – Agent Parish dares to defy the Governor?!?
1:27 – Saved by a black man—who will not defy the Governor.

NOTES:

• Director Joseph Merhi and star Gary Daniels colaborated on another action film, Riot also starring Sugar Ray Lenord. Review forthcoming.
• The IMDB comment section has lots of rave reviews of this movie.
  

Today I woke up to take a shower and NO HOT WATER. Dang that sucks. I wussed out. [yeah, that means I didn't shower today....]

Last night I went to a test screening of Darrin Aronofsky's The Fountain. It was awesome because Darrin in attendance and Melody and I were asked to stay after for the focus group to futher discuss the film. I'm not like a geek film fanboy over Aronofsky, I liked Requiem and Pi, but in film school people tend to hold him extreamly high up, you know? He's made two movies and The Fountain is his third so I'd hardly consider it a body of work. I didn't know much, if anything and well... the film left me confused and dissatisfied. The cinematography was amazing, the ending was mind-blowingly awesome, the preformances were good, "it gave me something to think about," yeah, but the entire time I was thinking what's going on? The ending/twist/finale was cool, but it truthfully as a whole it wasn't entertaining to watch. I thought Huge Jackman's character was very one-note. Anyways, will see what they do with it. People are raving about it over at Aintitcool so, shit, it must be amazing!

I'm going to try to watch and give another Baction review today. I might end up watching the film today and writing the review tomorrow depending on my work load.

My feet are freezing right now. What is up with that?

BACTION REVIEW #3

Class Of 1999
1990 / Color / 99min

“Implausible, laughable performances, but damn good fun.”
- some dude, imdb comment section

The Plot:
In the near future, the streets of Seattle have literally become war zones between rival gangs. Amidst the chaos is Kingston High School, surrounded by stonewalls, endless security guards (in riot gear) and metal detectors. Inside the school, as protected as it may be, it still suffers from the violence and drugs that plague the city streets. It’s a big day for KHS though. They have a new principal—Malcolm McDowell—who is willing to do what it takes to make the school a respectable institution it should be. Cue Dr. Bob Forrest a mysterious government scientist who introduces three “artificially created tactical education units” that will pose secretly as teachers. These cyborgs have been programmed to do only two things, teach students and discipline them. On the same morning, our main character Cody Culp is released from prison where he proceed to head directly to school. Cody’s ready to change his life around. He’s cast aside drugs and ganging. He’s a perfect blend of the two Corys, Feldman and Haim. The robot teachers meanwhile, find that there are a lot of “bad kids” at KHS. All of them in fact. Cody suspects something is amiss after almost being beaten to death by his gym teacher and witnessing his best friend’s neck being snapped. He enlists the help of the principal’s daughter (and love interest) to get to the bottom of the crazy teacher thing. The Cyborgs’ “ever-evolving program” has modified the teachers' objective to simply: rid the city of as many kids as possible and quickly. The teachers kidnap the principal’s daughter and kill Cody's brother making it look like the opposing gang, the Razorback, are the ones responsible. A lot of violence ensues until eventually the two gangs catch on to the fact they have been duped. The two groups unite to kill the teachers in a big action-packed, terminator-inspired battle before the school explodes. The end.

The Lowdown:
It would be unfair to call Class of 1999 a “bad action” movie. It’s actually quite competent and very entertaining. I’m surprised it’s not a popular cult classic. The violence in the movie is quite brutal, the atmosphere's dark, the cinematography gritty. While the acting is often terrible, the three teacher cyborgs make you forget all that because they're fun as hell to watch. Pam Grier is quite miscast playing, well, herself, Pam Grier: Robot with an additude. If you laugh off the obvious flaws of the film: if gang members ruled the city why would they go to school? And the fact that not a single kid is remotely believable as a gang member. As well as the much out-dated—yet hilarious—robot POV, you’re bound to find the movie pretty kick ass and be treated to some truly awesome special effects at the end.

Things to Watch For:
0:07 - Explosion Alert!
0:08 - “Looks like Hector’s going to be late to School.”
0:15 - Robot POV - Punishment Options Menu: Come on! Select Karate moves!
0:15 - The Gang Leaders only weakness? Stomping on his foot.
0:20 - Spanking in the classroom. Way to instill fear teach.
0:37 - Dance clubs in 1999, where teens randomly fire guns for no reason.
0:39 - Gang members drinking juice boxes. Stay classy Seattle.
0:52 - 2 Days, 2 dead brothers. Cody takes it pretty darn well.
0:54 - Explosion Alert 1!
0:55 - Explosion Alert 2!
0:56 - Explosion Alert 3! Bye-bye building.
0:57 - Explosion Alert 4! Too many to keep track of the past 4mins...
0:58 - Dude, the history teacher just tore that guy in half!
1:03 - “You trust him?” “Yeah. Like a vampire giving a blowjob.”
1:08 - “Now I’m going in there to waste some teachers. Are you with me?”
1:08 - Explosion Alert!
1:11 - Ewwwwww. (and then) Flame-Thrower Alert!!!!
1:12 - Explosion Alert!
1:13 - Exlposion Alert 2! Damn that was awesome!
1:16 - Flamer-Thrower Alert!
1:18 - Explosion Alert! + 1liner: “I guess I blew that course.”
1:18 - BONUS 1-LINER!!!! “Where’s Conners?” “She’s toast!”
1:20 - DOUBLE EXLOSION ALERT!
(I’m spent folks. Really. You can’t top that.)
1:22 - Okay. That’s pretty creepy. And cool.

NOTES:

• A semi sequal/futurist remake of Class of 1984
• Not available on DVD. You can get a korean bootleg though on ebay.
  
• Dave and I orginally watched the sequel Class of 1999 part 2 because it starred Nick Cassavettes (my former boss) and Cody from Step by Step. It's a bad, bad action movie.
  

BACTION REVIEW #2

Ator - The Fighting Eagle
1983 / color / 98 min. / Italy

"A man's fate is only revealed to him
when he's halway through his life.
If it were revealed sooner it would
only seem but an illusion."
-Ator

I was at Ameoba records this weekend, browsing the closeout DVDs when I came across Ator: The Fighting Eagle staring Miles "is that the dude from Cavedwellers?" O'keefe. At $1.95 I figured it was worth the investment. I am a sucker for swords and socercy shlock so, what the heck?

The PLOT:
The land is ruled by the High Priest of the Spiders named Dakkar but legend has it that there will be a child bearing a mark and that boy will be named Ator. Other signs will point to his arrival like the earth "will quiver like a virgin on her wedding night", blood will run from a statue, ect. Well, all that stuff happens. The child is born, and easily hid by an outcast, Bardak, in a small town. The family that houses Ator agrees to keep his identity safe. Years pass and Ator grows into a strapping lad completely oblivous to his fate. Instead he is in love. When Ator awkardly asks his father if it's okay to marry his sister the village celebrates! Incase you forgot, Ator's adopted!! If only he'd of known that before... So they get married. During the ceremony the Dakkar and his spider henchmen attack the village killing everyone--except Ator, Ator's pet bear and his wife who Dakkar steals for the hell of it. When debating whether to go after his wife or not, Ator meets Bardak, who proceeds to tell him his fate and, well, that he sucks as a warrior. They train for a bit until--a woman screams. Ator puts his new skills to work as saves the sassy lady who is very ungreatful. She rides off. Ator returns to his cave(?) only to find Barak gone--but a spiffy new He-man costume which means he may proceed to fulfill his destiny and save his wife. A warrior anew, Ator and his bear set off only to immediatly be captured by a group of women who haul him back to their village. Upon arrival, we find out the village is filled with only women, so a tournement is held to find out which woman gets to screw him, get impregnated and produce the new queen. So... he's forced to have sex with who?? The sassy lady he saved from before! She's named Moon. They go to consimate, but of course Ator doesn't want to--he's got a wife already (a virgin to boot). Moon complacently says, I'll go with you on your journey because I like gold and there's gold at the spider kingdom. They proceed to go through various mediocre lands like "The Forest of the Undead" and "The Caverns of the Blind Warriors" not actually encountering any problems before defeating Dakkar, who seemed pretty content petting a tarantula for 90 mintues before exploding. Moon ends up dying while trying to steal gold but what the heck does Ator care? He's got a virgin wife to run through a field with. The end!

The Lowdown:
If you are dying to see a movie with lots sword fighting, magic and logic: stay away! That being said, this movie is extreamly unintentionally funny. I want to view it with a group, from the casually asking of your sister to marry you to having a pet bear painted like a skunk--you'll be giggling pretty hard. I thought it couldn't get better than about 20 minutes into the film, but the finale is quite amazing.

Things to watch for:
0:11 - Baby powder: great for permanently erasing birthmarks.
0:15 - You know you're grown up when you sport 80's rock hair.
0:16 - I would have sworn talk of insest could only end badly.
0:37 - After all your training, you can't shoot a dear
0:37 - AND you get caught with a dinky net thrown at you??
0:39 - If you going to die, it better be by Snu-Snu.
0:44 - Gratuidous Nudity Alert: Bathing in the River!
0:49 - "Never touch that drape" - Oh, and drink this poison.
0:57 - Someone's going to touch the drape! Holy shit I did not expect that!
1:06 - The evil army consists of excactly 10 soldiers.
1:21 - Did he just explode?!?!?!
1:22 - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
1:25 - Giant furry robotic spider; we meet at last.
1:29 - Random Explosions!
1:30 - Freezze Frame Ending Alert!

NOTES:

• The title "The Fighting Eagle" is never addressed at all.
• Cavedweller's is actually the renamed title for the SEQUEAL to this film!!!!!!

This morning I bought a bum coffee. I was at the coffee shop and it's cold and wet outside and simply thought, he could use a coffee. The relationship me and him has definately grown over the past month. I admit I really enjoy seeing someone I know everyday when I'm walking down the street. The dude is supercool, always has the biggest smile on his face and after the big "we both shaved beards at the same time moment" we exchange friendly conversation often ending with our fist slamming together. So there you go, I bought a bum coffee today. I don't expect to do it everyday, but it was no skin off my back if you know what I mean. I'm facinated at how a guy so down to earth would end up on the street--and be so happy to boot. Hopefully, someday I will find the answer to that mystery.

I saw improv again last night. The only way I can describe it is: abstract insanity. Last week I really blown away at how well everyone read eachother and it was smart and everything tied together. Not so this week. Was it still fun, heck yeah, but certainly not as disaplined. It was crazy.

I might adapt this short film idea into a comic book. But as I read it yesterday thought I really want to do it as a short film. I donno. It would be expensive actually film it. I'm going to see if Ross is interested in doing it as a comic and if not--who knows? Maybe....

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my day at work... I wish I knew...

My improv acting class is doing excatly what I wanted it to: It's exciting me, giving me life, making me think more--all that jazz. I've decided to "renew my vows" with myself or whatever, in that, years ago, I said to my middle school self, that I was going to be positive person--why?Because I have that choice as a human being. Sure life sucks, but am I going to suck? Heck no. I've sort of been down the past 6 months, which will happen anytime you "have been released unto the world". But I'm challenging myself to go back there and stick with it. Here I am battling the elements and such, with a damn smile on my face. I can't even type straight. Who cares? Not me. I'm filled with happiness--scratch that--joy. Is that too much? Am I scaring you? I donno, it's all good though. Anyways, the class is helping renew my confidence and making me put things in perspective. I'm having fun.

Recording new music is damn hard. I think I'm just worried about the neighbors hearing. The enviornment's just not right. And I'm not good, but I'm going to keep at it mind you, it's not going to be easy, but what is? Am I right? One new song is more or less done, called La Fuzz, which is just a lot of distortion, but happy-like similar to The Go Team.

I've also been a cooking maniac. I bought a bunch of stuff at the store and made some cool ginger-garlic green beans with tofu steaks for lunch for a few days this week. I think it turned out really good. This week I'm experimenting with ginger. Two weeks ago it was tyme before that tarragon. I'm going through all the spices one at a time and trying to learn what they are good with.

My room is a freakin mess. I don't know when I'm going to get the courage to clean it.

I seeded my first show on bit torrent. Did I tell you that? It felt so awesome. Last week, to my shock, I saw a live beat happening concert on dimeadozen and was really excited other people felt my BH love. I threw up in the comment section that I had one show--I thought it was pretty readily available, but apperently not, so I went through all the motions and posted it. Sweet. I felt like I was contributing. I wish I had more to post. But it's a great show and people were very appreciative.

Workin for the Weekend

I'm in a kick-ass outstanding mood right now. It's a perfect 82 out and it's friday. What more could you want?

I was going to post today about my daily adventures, but I had work to do and lost a little interest. I'm enjoying life right now and you can't describe that.

I received a call from Danny Roew about an hour ago. I guess if you google his name, a previous entry here pops up as the sixth result. Wow. Thats interesting I guess. Anyways, Danny wasn't fully appreicative that I called him bi-sexual but I went back and read the entry and stand by what I said. I made fun of his red boxer-briefs. Yeah. I did. What're you going to do about it Mr. Roew? I hope this entry shows up right below the other. I could probably go into the implication of google and my blog and the deep meaning and power of google, but it's too nice outside to get in a subconscience-something-or-another...

Speaking of Mr. Roew, last night I went to the Silverlake Film Festival and afterwards we met up with Danny and his girl at the Spider Club for the opening party. That's right, another night of mingling in places I really don't belong. It was fun. I would love to go into all the reasons why I both love and dispise the hip-hard-to-get-into clubbing scene, but I'm not going to be couped up in this office much longer. It friday folks.

The opening movie, Edmond, was fucked up. It was written by david mamet and starts william h. macy. It's a movie that's trying to offend. I can't really say if I liked it or not, but it interested me all the way through. It's just flat out wierd. Not for everyone. A man's trip into insanity is a great description of it. Most of the dialogue has nothing to do with what's going on in the scene. Much of it is farsical and brutal. Still, any movie where Juila Stiles get brutally murdered is okay my me though. Bill Macy was in attendance because Stuart Gordon's flight was delayed. So that was interesting. And for a E! hollywood moment, I'll let you know that he drives a black convertable porsche, beause we drove down the road next to him for a short time after the screening.

It's a great day for baseball. I listened to Jamie Moyer pitch 6 inning and allowing only 1 hit earlier. Oh yes, baseball season is almost upon us.

Have a great weekend.

The Hump.

I failed to wake up early this morning. I was fully rested at 5:50 and looked at my alarm that was about to go off and thought "I don't want to." And that's all I needed. So that means I need to go tomorrow...

The week is almost halfway over. I've got to tell you work just fries my brain. It's cool, because if I want to walk up the street at 3pm and see the Belle and Sebatian instore that most people don't normally get to see--because they're working!!!--I can, because my responsibilities are zip right now. But it's hard to get excited about the weekend and what not. I donno. I'm feel good but not great you know? Just drifting through this wednesday.

Speaking of things to look forward to. I was so close to going to vegas easter weekend, but plans fell through. It's probably a good idea because it was getting kind of pricey. I might go in may. Again, I donno. I want to go, but it won't kill me one way or another.

Last night, I recorded a bunch of fuzz which may or may not be considered a song, but I had fun doing it. It's happy fuzz music. This inspiration has me actually writing a new song, or whatever. I'm pretty stoked about it. If all goes as planned, I'll record some form of it tonight just so that I won't forget it.

I'm gearing up to do a crazy CD burning thing today because I owe Jon Dick a bunch of stuff. So that should occupy most my 'freetime' at work today.

I also feel that I should mention that when I officially changed license plates yesterday afternoon, it got kind of emotional. There's no turning back. I'm californian. My life didn't really change yesterday, I just got rid the one thing connecting me with home and it hit, you know? And... [Deep breath] Well, here we go: The next stage of my life.

I'm debating on whether to go to the opening movie of the Silverlake Film Festival tomorrow night. I have an old boss that's going to be there and I really want to see the movie Edmond directed by Stuart (the re-animator) Gordan who will also be there in person. The catch is that it's $25--granted to a good cause--but it's still $25. I can't think of any good reasons not to, so I'll probably go.

I'm LEGAL folks. Watch out!

I am holding in my hands my California License Plates and tabs for my car! After nearly 6 years, I have completed my transition to become a full citizen of Hollywood.

Yey.

Last night I went to the UCB theater to see some long-form improv. I was blown away. It's acting at it's rawest form and the people involved are so good. It was crazy-awesome. I'm very intimidated, but I have to keep telling myself that those people have been studying and practicing for a very long time.

I'm trying to upload pictures, but there seems to be some sort of glitch today, which is sad, because I don't want you to think that is place is bland. So click on the links to be visually stimulated or something. Really. Do it. Don't let my hard work go to waste. I wanted to upload some really cool art by Josh Howard. I recently got Dead@17: The Complete Collection, which is a comic book about cute girls, mixed up in good vs. evil and zombies. I find the art really good, the story is enjoyable and overall I'm very glad to finally be able to read the final books of the series because they're very hard to find in comicbook stores. I recommend it. The pictures you just viewed, don't really do it justice.

Alright. Timothy is playing Fashion Island at the Newport Beach Film Festival april 24 & 27. The times and days kind of suck. 7pm and 4:30pm respectively, but oh, well. It's not like Seth and Ryan are going to be going to some film festival on the OC anytime soon. Don't jump in line just yet, I want to see what the shorts lineup is--like if it's a kids program or whatever before you think about going. I'll find out if it will be worth your time hipsters.

Dude, today a lot of media items come out*.

*is that's just my way of saying stuff to buy??? I guess...

Anyways, I'm not getting paid to advertise anything, but Quasi's new CD hits stores today. There is a review on pitchfork today here. Also Justice League and Batman Beyond season sets hit the shelves. I will probably pick these up and never finish them. It's not home movies, but what is? JL season 2 is where I'll officially geek out, so standby for that. Summer or fall I think.

Tonight I'm just going to take it easy so I get get up and workout tomorrow. I hope it clears up. This off and on rain stuff is annoying. Stay dry people. Stay dry.

UPDATE: I'm listening to the new Quasi album right now. Too early to actually comment on it.

Hey, hey, hey. How's it going?

I'm doing well, thank you.

I've been listening to this old Red Red Meat album and I must say, everytime I put it in, it blows my mind! I love it. It's almost 10 years old but it feels fresh as ever. I saw Califone play on saturday with Brian Irving and, while it great seeing them, it wasn't up to par with many of their previous shows. I hope it's due to the fact that they were playing a museum and not that they are getting old and mellowing out. I don't think that's the case because their past album, King Heron Blues, really reminded me of Red Red Meat--which is a good thing. I guess they have a new CD coming out in the fall, so I'll look forward to that.

I had my second improv acting class and I'm slowly getting back into the thick of things. It feels good, but I'm not totally comforable on stage and preforming yet. That said, when I did have to preform, I think I did adequate. I pretty sure my mind is starting to move faster. I'm starting to 'feel' the restrictions as opposed to 'thinking' about them.

It's monday. Boy did the weekend fly by. I spent all of yesterday helping Dave Malki out with a 'practice shoot' of a short film. Basically, I'm as confused as you. It cost me a whole day, so it better of helped dammit. The location we shot on was pretty cool, it was an old military base/hanger in Tustin.

Oh--Street Wars aka the watergun assisnation game, has posted a really good written description of our teams deaths so I feel I should post it. You should also note that I am 'the ringer' that saves our team captian's life twice. Here you go:

PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE USE

PRESS RELEASE 16TH MARCH 2006

The sound of one gun squirting.

The Kobra Kai Killer is happy to announce that all of his targets can now live the rest of their lives in eternal bliss. No more looking over their shoulders, no more waiting around stranger's houses for hours, no more leaky guns that make you look like you peed your pants. They're all taking the Big Sleep. It was inevitable.

The Korba Kai Killer started the week off with eternal patience and it has paid off. The Mr. Topps team has been eliminated along with previously reported BMcL. It wasn't easy, but then again for one to appreciate something, it has to be earned and earn it I did.

The Kobra Kai Killer's first target spent the night out and thought that sneaking in at an early hour would throw the Kobra Kai Killer off. Think again! While sitting on his front steps, reading The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the Kobra Kai Killer heard someone running towards him from the parking lot. The Kobra Kai Killer put his book down and drew his gun and, like a scene out of Pulp Fiction, water started landing all around him. Water, water, everywhere, not a drop on him. It being Hollywood and all, the Kobra Kai Killer did his best Samuel Jackson impersonation and smoked his ass. Upon getting his card, the Kobra Kai Killer turned to leave and got in his car as the target went home. As soon as the soaked target got inside the Kobra Kai Killer went back to his reading spot and waited for roommate/target #2. A few verses in the front door opened and out came someone that after being startled, yelped, "I'm not in the game!" Not in the game indeed, but certainly in on it, as roommate #3 alerted roommate #2. Moments later someone darted out of the front door wearing a raincoat and a fake mustache, needless to say, they got drenched, but something wasn't right. The Kobra Kai Killer was nailed from his blind spot. Can-wetto, his target, felt good about his kill and put his water gun in the back seat of his car. Big mistake.

After the 24 hour wait, the Kobra Kai Killer prepared to strike again, as he staked out the parking lot where Can-wetto worked, bribing parking attendants to move his car over by a fence. He patiently waited in the lotus position and decided to meditate. A few hours later, hunger reared it's ugly head and he had Domino's deliver to his hiding spot (hiding in the bushes, wedged by a fence is not an address that Domino's will deliver to, go figure.) Two slices into the pizza a car pulled up and the ringer with the fake mustache from the other day got out of his car and picked something up from Can-wetto's car. The Kobra Kai Killer had been made. That damn parking attendant narked on him. No matter, it's just delaying the inevitable.

The day of reckoning came on Thursday as the dossier closed on the targets. The Kobra Kai Killer paid a visit on the one target he had left alone to stew in his paranoia, AS (aka 3 weeks of secrets). The target used a trap door to shoot the Kobra Kai Killer. Bad move, this only upset him. He decided to use the buddhist method of killing without killing; he was going to topple the head of AS's team, Can-wetto.

The Kobra Kai Killer returned to the site of his first kill. The smell of death was still in the air and this pleased him. Upon entering the parking lot he noted that Can-wetto's car was parked next to an empty spot, but there was an empty spot next to the front door of the apartment. Kill him when he walks out the door or kill him when he's getting into his car? He chose the former. Can-wetto opened the front door and contorted his face in fear when Can-wetto spotted the Kobra Kai Killer raising his gun. Very, very funny. The shot was deflected by the front door and Can-wetto disappeared. Sucka had to go to work, so he had to come out sometime. All of a sudden there was water coming down on the front of the car as Can-wetto was shooting from an open window. There was a ferocious battle shooting back and forth until Can-wetto yelled,"You're going to run out of water sometime." How wrong you are. The Kobra Kai Killer brought a hudson sprayer with 3 gallons of death liquid that he used to reload 3 times during this battle.

Getting into the safety of the closed car, the Kobra Kai Killer started the car and backed it up to get a safer position, next to the target's car. From here he launched water balloons at the secure position and taunted him, "Aren't you going to be late for work?"

"I called in late, " Can-wetto shot back from above as the Kobra Kai Killer ran up to the building and shot from underneath. Spotting a garden hose, the Kobra Kai Killer thought about using this to finish the job, but did not want break any unknown rules, breaking wills yes, rules no.

Back inside the car, where some more balloons were launched from, seemed to be the best spot to wait. Can-wetto tried a surprise frontal offensive but was nailed by superior killer, a professional. The Kobra Kai Killer!

To the leaders of the Shadow Government: It would be easier for me if you could just send the Kobra Kai Killer the rest of the target's names all at once, this way he won't have to bother you guys with his barrage of executions every day.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much this week. A ton has been going on but for reasons of security I couldn't post it. Now, I feel more like, "fuck it". If someone is still following my every action (which I imagine--or is that hope?), more power to them. I'm going to do what I want to do.

That said--as of 8:45 this thursday morning Team Mr. Topps is still alive and kicking, though more pathetic than anything. I feel dave and I have much more of a "running from bullies" skill than a "hunt and kill prey" one. Either way, he's still alive which is great, but we suck big time at attacking our targets. I feel happy because our assissn known to me only as Kobra Kai Killer is frustrated as hell and figures that Dave camped out really late at work last night. That is not the case. Citizen and former teammate Brad came to his rescue around 7pm and picked him up in my fly ride--a midnight blue '06 jetta and delivered him safely to our other teammates house. So we're still in the game. I think someone is tailing me because they lost the trail of Dave... but I donno. I've got plans the next few nights, so I can't get consumed in a game I'm sort of not a part of anymore. It's fun. I mean really, that's all I have to talk about.

I was really glad that Veronica Mars was new last night. Even though it's not perfect, I'm completely hooked on the show.

Dave just called me and he's in a serious battle in our complex right now. He's probably dead.

I'm going to see Califone play the Getty this saturday. That's not a typo--the Getty! That should be cool. They are playing there friday night, but it's sold out even though it's free. I don't understand but, hey, it's the Getty!

So I exchanged Eddie's rental car yesterday and got upgraded to the nice Jetta I mentioned earlier. He's out of town until next week so I get to drive it around. It's an opened ended rental, meaning there is not return date--but I think the girl who gave it to me screwed up because she just called and asked "do you have an estimated return date?" And I was like, um no. "can let me know whenever you get that info?" I wanted to say, sure, how about august? But I've got to at least keep the car for the weekend so I can drive around in style.

I got a smog check for my car yesterday and am taking it in tomorrow to *cross your fingers* get it register to California. My tabs have been expired for a long time....

Zack Fox Was Right: I didn't last 72 hours

So I was mum yesterday because of this Street Wars: Killer game that started here in LA. Sadly after 36 hours I am dead. Our team is still alive and I can be said to be a large part of that, but my split second of hesitation killed me in a water gun battle spawned when I returned from the gym this morning. In those 36 hours, I did extensive research on our targets, darted around every corner, escorted team leader then saved his life by pretending to be him and I even got a really hot phone call threat from a killer named Destiny. It was a lot of fun and I will sign up again if I have a chance.

But now I can get on with my life without having to look over my shoulder. **I'm still going to try to smoke out our targets with the team tonight though--and if we live long enough--Wangsday will be amazing!!!!

Last weekend was wonderful. Friday night I went with Dave to the Reno 911: The Movie party, which was at a really sheik club down the street; open bar, a morrissy cover band the cast requested and truthfully, the club was much too fancy for me and dave. We didn't deserve to be there--but it was a nice slice of the hollywood life that I so rarely get to experience. So many hot girls that were to young to be drinking to boot. And lets not forget the really good hors durves (you know what I mean.)

I had my first improv acting class at the UCB last Saturday. It was a pretty cool experience. The people in the class are really cool, they are good people. Also the class is 50/50 guys and girls which is really cool because usually improv is dominated by males. I don't mind hanging out with cute girls... anyways, I guess UCB's focus is specifically on Long Form improv aka The Harold, I don't know anything about it, I'm open to it, it's just not what I expected... I'm rusty and a bit nervous. I think I did alright despite these things for the first class. I realize it will take a few weeks--heck it might take all 10 weeks--but hopefully I get back into it. I had fun though. I really sucked at the 3 sentence who/where/what excersice. Really sucked. I wasn't the only one though, but I've been practicing, so hopefully I'll be better.

I gotta jet. Stay safe Team Mr. Topps. I'm with you in spirit.

By this time next week, I could be dead.

Gearing up for the weekend, I got an email from the Supreme Commander of the Shawdow Government about picking up our teams assignment for the assination tourney. Now it's time to transform from my geeky self to hunter-killer. Needless to say, this weekend is all about training and loading up my arsenal.

Yesterday, I sadly was not able to attend The Hill have Eyes premiere. I made the foolish mistake of inviting someone who actually has to work late sometimes and was held up and we did not get in. Oh well. I'm not too heart broken mainly because tonight I'm going to the Reno 911 Movie wrap party courtesy of Dave. It should be fun, but it can't be too crazy because of the assination transformation that needs to happen. Also, I should remind you that, I start my improv class on saturday morning. 10am. I have this dreadful feeling that I'm going to forget about going to class. I hope that's not the case. This is happening really fast. I've been raking my brain and remembering some of the warmups and games we used to play. I hope it's similar.

In wake of missing the premiere, I tried to record some music last night. Oh god it's terrible. It's the most annoying, catchy drum and guitar thingy I've ever recorded. I'm going to listen to it a couple time and see if it's salvageable i.e. can add lyrics or more depth to make it not suck so much.

So, let me recap: yesterday I wrote about being inspired to get back into the music thing. Later that day, I did.

Wow. That's some serious self relection. There might be more where that came from. Stay tuned.

Have a good weekend.

EDIT: It's starting to rain. That normally would suck--and it does--but I've put on some Carrie Akre and it compliments it nicely. Also, I got my tax refund.

I'm feeling pretty inspired to start playing guitar and recording songs again and such. It's been a while since I've played with anyone, but both Irv and Luoto are interested so I'm hoping to jam or something this weekend.

Saw the Neko instore yesterday and it was pretty much what I expected. It was good. I liked it. Makes me miss the Cds of her that I used to own but were stolen....

I wish I had more to talk about, but to be honest, I've been really complacent this week. It seems to be moving extra slow, but I haven't been complaning, I've just been rolling with the punches, you know. I've been in pretty good spirits, but bored as hell. I find myself fast forwarding to June or July when I get a change of scenery (read:not this office). I realize that life and dreams take patience... so alright. I'll wait.

Speaking of patience, I just haven't been in the mood to deal with the freakin avid problems at work I need to in order to finish cutting the sweatshop short. So this weekend I'm heading down to school to put the finishing touches it--I know that's excatly what I said last week... jeez... gimma a break. These things take time.

Here's a story for you: There's this bum I see just about everyday on the way to work. He's always got a big smile, lounging about, he's fun to talk to, ect. Anyway, I say hi, give him change if I have any, well, I'm walking up to Ameoba yesterday and I pass this guy and he's like "hey, looking good. You clean up nice." And I look over and he's motioning that I no longer have a beard. It takes me a second and I realize that the bum shaved his beard off too!!! "You clean up pretty well yourself man" is my response and we share a big laugh. So that was a big moment. We are now friends that tell eachother to keep safe and stay away from trouble.

Midweek Morning

So this morning I woke up ran five miles, came into work and had myself such a wonderful toasted bagel from Groundworks up the street. Now I am in such a good mood because I am listening to one of my fondest memories (regarding MM that is): a Modest Mouse show from 1-16-98 RCKNDY. I believe it was the second time ever I saw them. Someone tipped me off to a Modest Mouse live show haven to which I finally--FINALLY found this show!! I've been looking for it since I got word of it's exsistance years ago. Even more exciting is I've already downloaded a bunch of 96-98 shows and there are plenty more to pick at. These are the golden years. Oh man. How I loved them....

Other news... It's been pretty quiet. Neko Case is playing Ameoba records (which is next door) tonight. It will be pretty packed because she's not playing a show later on. I'll probably mosey on up there around 6:30 and try to spend as little money as possible.

Last night was writing meeting and it was, and is, excatly what writing meeting should be. It was me going--regardless of what Briana is doing--actually writing--and if she comes, great, if not, no worries. Needless to say, I got some good progress on Heart Attack.

[The fiddle player is on fire during doing the cockroach. And if I recall, the girl who's singing back up is Issac's girlfriend at the time. She's not very good.]

Can I say how annoying it was to be woken up by helicopers circling our block last night? The thundering of the propellers went on for a while and then when I came to my senses, that annoyance changed to fear because the police were shouting into a mega phone "come out peacefully, you're surrounded". Jesus, it was a hard situation. You sure as heck can't sleep with a helicopter hover over your house....

Anyways, I'm going and hopefully will have bundles of life to report tomorrow.

Monday, Bloody Monday

Big weekend. Lots of stuff to talk about, but I must speak what is on my mind at this paticular moment.

This morning, I opened my email and recieved an acceptance letter from The Newport Beach Film Festival to which I kinda rolled my eyes at. I swear (even though I don't think it's possible) that I've send Timothy there per their request THREE YEARS IN A ROW! I've been rejected the first two time and now third times a charm I guess. So, whatever, yey, I'll try to go. Hopefully it will play the Lido or something. So anyways, to check the actor's spelling I go to the imdb Timothy page for that and I notice it's got 5 votes--enough to get a rating. Five people have voted on my film. It has a 4.4 overall rating. That's not good. 5 is mediore. I'm biased, but I think, it should be around a 6 or 7. I know it's not perfect... So I look at the voting breakdown 2 Votes rate it an 8. 1 each for 3,2,1 rating. I go "shit, I might as well but in my two cents" so I vote and--I've never done it before-- it actually says the 1 means awful. So some dude actually voted Timothy a 1. AWFUL. I mean come on, I know it's not perfect, but AWFUL!?!?! My feeling are hurt. Three votes in the awful catigory... I obviously hit a nerve... and they hit back at mine. Damn. Awful? Come on. Give me a break.

That's where I'm at this morning.... Damn. But hey, Shaun Alexander's still a Seahawk right? A rich one at that.

It's been a good weekend for me. I watched the ACE editor seminar that Alan hosted saturday morning. Played a poker tournament and won(!!!) that evening. Last night I split the Oscar pool (read:another win) with Goob. So that was bitchin'. It's tradgic though. I conseeded and picked only who was supposed to win--and won. I missed out on picking the best picture nominee, but who cares? I won the pool. I have to say that George Clooney's speech was great. I really like that guy. I was rooting for Good Night and Good Luck. But you knew that already. It would be great if George Clooney hosted the oscars at some point because he'd be great.

Basically I won some money this weekend. I didn't spend money, which I needed to do. I start improv class next weekend. I'm still in the final stages of finishing a decent cut of the sweatshop short.

Peace out I guess.

Oh man. I forgot to tell you I had a crazy dream last night. I was supposed to be executed by a principal/warden who ruled the campus. A Demolition High type moment. The principal--a menicing man--shot me like three or four times and gave my body to some goons to finish the job. These goons were my friends on the 'inside'. One of them was Justin Lam. Apperently the only way I was going to get away was to fake my death and that ment getting shot. I didn't understand why, but I was loosing lots of blood so everything was fuzzy and it already happened, so there was no point in rethinking the plan because I was alread shot. Justin and some other friends locked me in a desk drawer/closet-type place for me to hide out in for a while, but they also locked themselves in the room with the prinicpal presumably waiting outside. Oh, Irv and Osbrink were also in the dream. I'm lying in darkness of the closet, trying to recooperate from the bullit wounds and trying to figure what the fuck sort of plan this was and I ask, how everyone in the room--the inside guys who were helping me--weren't going to get caught helping me because they locked themselves in the room with me and the principal saw them go in... it makes no sense and I can't think straight because I'm bleedin and stuffed a drawer. Someone says "they did it in the movie Scream" and I'm like I don't think they did... but I try to think, but can't focus because of the bleeding and I think Justin Lam's smart, so okay, they did it in Scream. After taking a nap in the drawer, I wake up in the room alone and make a break for it. Outside the room is like an airport with lots of guards and I sneak around and but get discovered and then have to run, and hide and run and punch some guards. I run around town and meet Osbrink (who I think is George Clooney)--I'm dilerious from blood loss and he, mind you--at a loading doc and he corrects my mistake and helps me loose the guards tailing me. He slyly tricks the guards by playing basketball with him. This sort of sly diversion is really a loopy me, thinking it's cleaver rather than being true. I run around town. Hide out here and there. Never really escape "the man" or whatever force is chasing me. Then wake up. It was a weird dream because I was thinking so much about my surroundings and then not really going with my gut and let other people push me around and do what they say. I donno. You had to be in my head with me.

Oscars and Weiners [Sorry Meyers...]

In celebration of the Oscars this weekend, am posting the gayest picture I have taken recently.


This is Danny Roew who--do be fair--is probably bi, which, is what the guys in brokeback are all about. Is he wearing boxer-briefs? Red boxer-briefs? It's not one or the other... I tried wearing those once, but they are kind of awkard. Very fitting for Danny Roew.

I never get excited for the Oscars and this year is no different. I had a long talk with James about this. There are no surprises. Why watch when everybody has the same picks and EVERYONE thats suposed to win, wins? (The exception being Adrien Brody and Polanski winning for the Pianist, which nobody had seen at that point.) The Oscars have lost their credibility ever since Julia Roberts beat Laura Linney for Erin Brockovich. Seriously, the best actress catigory is a joke. Nicole Kidman? Halie Berry? Charlize Thereon are the actresses of our generation? Reese Witherspoon? I'll be damned if you're going to give the girl from Legally Blonde 1 & 2 an oscar. The fact of the matter is, if there weren't any amazing movies out this year, don't give a freakin' award. Chicago is not a best picture winner. A Beautiful Mind is far from a classic film.... Alright. I'll stop... We're going to be seeing a lot of Oscars going to gay cowboys--which I'm not too angry about. I understand it's a political statement. I saw brokeback and thought "that movie was pretty good... I donno about oscar worthy, but it was good." Which is different than say, A Beautiful Mind... in which someone shit in a bag marked 'Fishing for Oscar' and the smell confused them with 'The Fisher King' or something...

I want some surprises on sunday. I want Good Night and Goodluck to sweep all of it's catigories. I want Crash to crash freakin' hard and get jack. I want Amy Adams to win supporting actress--but now that I think of it, Constant Gardner was real good. Why can't that be up for best picture? And--nothing against women--but the best acress catigory is really pathetic. Sorry women. Do better. Hollywood: Make better movies.

I ever since I thought of it I can't get it out of my head: I can't quit you. The famous line of Brokeback, really means I can't quit gay sex. Like really, come one guys--is it really that good!?!?! I have nothing against gays or gay cowboys, but can't you be more romantic? 'You complete me' is so much better. 'You had me at hello.' Great. I can't quit gay sex? Sorry guys. Didn't make my heart flutter. I know for a fact people can live without either kind of sex if they have too. (Boo hoo, the world is sooooo harsh sometimes. Tear. Tear.) At that point, I was like, when are they going to kill the guy?

I thought I wasn't going to have a lot to write about today but it all seems to be movie motivated and bitchy. Last night's dream: I was drug to a drive-in movie where they were showing Donnie Darko, which, I then complained all the way through--because--not a huge fan. I know there's DD (donie darko, not daredevil) backlash which is well deserved, because did you see Drew Berrymore in that film? Talk about terrible acting. Does she have an Oscar for that film? I'm surprised. For some reason Zack Fox was doing his thing, where he was excited about something, then sloooowly comes to the realization that it sucks. Yeah, I know that Zack Fox. He was doing that. Then it got all crazy and I forgot what happened. I was fading in and out of the dream with the rain pitter-patter on the window. It was waking me up periodically.

Sorry for the shitty post. I was going to talk about the next two Fox Film Noir movies I watched, but I'll leave that for a different time. Tomorrow I'm going to the Academy nominated Editor thing, then laundry then poker then probably print the sweatshop short to DVD to take a look at it on a TV. It just hit me, that we didn't film the ending to it. So I need to do that... Not in this weather though. Stupid rain....

Oh! I'll end on a positive note: Did I mention we got a new coffee machine in at work? [I talk about the coffe machine in the first or second post of this blog.] Dude, it kicks serious butt. The building stepped it up and got starbucks brand coffee to put in it as opposed to the cheapest junk they could find. It's good stuff and brews real fast. I'm going to get a second cup.

This and That...

Oh man... Uninvited (1988), which I mentioned in a previous post is AMAZING. It's extreamly enjoyable--and not just because the hero stole Dave's dance, kiss and beard from him! Cat monster living inside of a cat... gets me everytime. I have this desire to track down the filmmakes and buy the rights and release a film print to show late at night (and on DVD). It would be a terrible investment, but fuck it, I don't care. There's more to life than saving money. The world needs to be exposed to Uninvited and Troll 2 on the big screen.

Pitchfork today has a glowing review of a The Blow song remixed. I want to track it down because that song is off an EP I have that I like quite a bit. F---ing pitchfork trashed The Blow's last two releases. I don't think either scored above a 5.0. But any able mind shouldn't take pitchforks reviews too seriously and not just because they have heavy biased to things like Sigur Ros and Sufean Stephens (I know I screwed up the spelling, but I could care less). Oh and Morrisey or something like that right? Or is that Tiny Mix Tapes. I donno. It's much hipper to do what I'm doing and that is trash the indy web review scene. The Blow is one girl who I saw at koos years ago and she's a wanna be Calvin who recently has morphed into a techno lo-fi thing similar to Bobby Birdman. I donno. I just wanna hear the remix but apperently it's not being released until April.

Speaking of April. That should be a kick ass month. The New Beverly is doing 3 different double features of film noir on top of the Egyptian which is going to be having a huge noir series. And Quasi is playing so-cal at the end of April. I don't know if I'll go all crazy and see them more than once because Jon moved back to portland, but it's exciting non the less. Quasi has a new album out soon...

There is a 95 Modest Mouse show on bit torrent.... I'm going to have to check that out. I've never heard of anything earlier than 96.... Hmmm. I'm intrigued.

On another note, I'll have a rought cut of the short by the end of today. I came to the realization that we didn't shoot an ending... So.... I need to do that.

...and BACTION!

Yesterday I signed up for improv classes at the UCB theatre. It was a rather quick, impulsive decision. Reasons: Number 1) I want to be more creative. I did improv in high school and while not only being fun, it has a way of making your mind move a lot quicker. 2) These lessons are on Saturday at the UCB theatre (as opposed to earlier ones I looked at which were at 3pm on a tuesday at some place on melrose), so I can walk to class. 3) The teacher shares my last name. It's minor, but just enough to tip the scales and make me cough up $300. I think they start in a week from Saturday, which is really soon. Here's to spontanaity! [clink.]

I sort of lucked out and didn't see the Tomb Raider fan film. In truth, I went with Eddie and we got there about 7:30, it was supposed to start at 8, by nine o'clock, we had a second announcement saying that the film would start shortly. After an hour and a half of waiting we were both getting restless and I told him I had to meet someone at 9:30 and couldn't wait for the film. This morning, Eddie said (surprise, surprise) that I didn't miss much. Thank goodness right? Ugh. Bad filmmaking.... bad action... BACTION!

That's right. Instead I watched a new Baction Movie by the same director of Zero Tolerance called The Sweeper. I don't really feel like writing a review at this moment but it is forthcoming.

I've been rocking out to Man or Astroman? all morning. I feel I should mention that I woke up with a stomach ache at 4:45am and have been up ever since. I preceeded to go to the gym, made lunch, shaved, got to work early... I've been making progress on the sweatshop short. Hell, I might have rought cut by the end of the day. End of the week for sure.

I'm going to make an effort to go "write" tonight and on top of doing "writing meeting" tomorrow. I need to make some sort of progress on my outline for Heart Attack. With all this Baction going on in my life, it's hard not to get excited about an upcomming over-the-top action short that will star James tenitively called Cold Fire. It should be nothing but fun to make.