BACTION REVIEW: RAGE

Rage
1996 / 94min

"He can run, and he can hide, but he can’t escape....
what they put inside him!"
- Rage Movie Trailer

The Plot:
Alex Gainer is an Australian living the perfect American dream. He’s a muscular and sexy second grade teacher with a beautiful wife and daughter. Most importantly Alex is happy with his life and has “faith in humanity”. That all changes abruptly and unexpectedly when Alex is carjacked by a Mexican running from the cop. When the cops surrounded the car and Alex convinces the criminal to give up, they both exit the car only to be beaten, kidnapped and taken to a secret government facility. Alex wakes up in a lab overhearing “he’s innocent but he’s a perfect specimen.” He’s injected with something but Alex isn’t going down that easy. He single handedly beats down a dozen scientists (easy) then a dozen guards (they have guns) before disappearing. Next day Alex is sick mess who’s been picked up by the most idiotic truck driver ever. The law enforcement have a road block ahead so Alex takes control of the big rig and proceeds to plow through the cops. The next 10-minute action scene is possibly the coolest you will ever see. Throw sense out the window, shit is going to explode and often. After crazy highway escapades, Alex is all over the news as a vicious murderous madman on the loose. We are then introduced to the ugliest, most unrealistic news channel crew ever. In a matter of minutes—with no evidence—a reporter named Harry strings together Alex is innocent and the government is responsible by injecting Alex with drugs that make him a super soldier (yeah, he really reached there….) The rest of the film is spent having Alex kick cops asses in various setting, like tall buildings, helicopters, malls, merry-go-rounds all while having Harry deliver his story to the world. Thank God there is an antidote to what-the-fuck he was injected with so we can have a fairly happy ending.

The Lowdown:
Rage is utterly ridiculous. Every character is not remotely believable in his or her field and other than Alex, the acting is through the roof. This is another PM Entertainment film which means the action is top notch. Director Joseph Merhi loves to blow shit up and break glass—which is great. The film blows its load in the first half hour with the highway scene. I don’t know if any B-movie can EVER top multiple car crashes and flippings, following by two separate instances of tanker trucks exploding. So the rest of the movie, in essence, drags, unless you follow the plot, which will leave you giggling. Its nice to see a multiple cop killer be a hero surrounded by 2nd graders cheering him on at the end. This is what you want in a baction film: terrible dialogue (and sense) offset by kick ass explosions.

Things To Watch For:
0:07 – “I’m preparing your favorite dish.” “But you are my favorite dish.”
0:10 – Random Acts of Violence against a teacher!
0:15 – Explosion Alert!
0:15 – Gratuitous TAZER TO THE NUTS! Sucks to be a teacher today.
0:17 – From pussy-ass to action star – (checks watch) - 10 minutes.
0:21 – Sweet. Tanker as Battering Ram!!! x4
0:22 – Explosion Alert!
0:24 – Explosion Alert! I’m seeing double.
0:27 – HOLY FUCK! Tanker Explosion Alert!!!!
0:29 – Evil cop is going to stop the semi with a school bus??
0:30 – DOUBLE HOLY FUCK! Tanker Explosion Alert #2!!!!
0:34 – Random Acts of Bondage.
0:42 – Spare uniform hanging in cop car. Can you say convienient?
0:54 – 100 shots later and you still didn’t come close copper.
1:19 – Well shucks, he’s going to die.... Let’s get a pretzel.
1:20 – Warning: A lot of glass will shatter in next 5 minutes!!
1:21 - Product Placement: Zero Tolerence Poster. Nice one guys.
1:23 – Agent Parish dares to defy the Governor?!?
1:27 – Saved by a black man—who will not defy the Governor.

NOTES:

• Director Joseph Merhi and star Gary Daniels colaborated on another action film, Riot also starring Sugar Ray Lenord. Review forthcoming.
• The IMDB comment section has lots of rave reviews of this movie.